Dixie Chicks

Reading history paper while listening some easy tunes, I was reminded of those college days...

It was probably sophmore year, Sarah was completely addicted to Dixie Chicks, who had just released a new (at the time) album named "Wide Open Spaces". She drove home to Afton and visited family on the weekends frequently, and she said that was the only album she listened to. She took me back to her house for some sort of holiday that I no longer remember, and we listened to Dixie Chicks over and over again. I didn't understand much of the lyrics back then, I hummed along when Sarah sang along to the CD with a passion.

Listening to this album again, I am reminded of the very-much-missed friend afar, and the warm spring wind blowing into my hair as we drove on Interstate 80. Friends have moved on over the years, and some of them have gone through different stages in life. My friendship with them though, has not diminished a bit because of the distance that set up apart (at least I think so). I often heard that one of the best time in one's life is during college, where one can make true, life-long friends. College ended before I realized it, and I am so proud and blessed with my good friends, who I can count on any time. I truly believe that I am a fortunate sole.

Office drama

I never thought that the lives in "Office Space" was desirable, and yet, I am living in such an environment that I can almost call it miserable. 9 graduate students sharing an office, without enough cubicles for everyone, and a 1 to 3 computer to student ratio - drama is doomed to happen, sooner or later.

Almost two years after we moved to this new building, this office has almost become the place where the majority of my officemates intentionally avoid. Dramas like fights over scarced computer resources, office romance (or more like one-sided crushes that didn't lead to anywhere), constant and overwhelmingly loud declarations of minute-to-minute update of someone's dissertation progress, the smartest guy who acts like the biggest asshole you can find around here, whose girlfriend is the o'famous 'icequeen' who doesn't give the slightest concern over anyone but herself.

Gossip is flowing like the dirty water in New Orleans.

It could be worse, I guess.


wow, I can't believe how long it's been...

For a while, I got this idea stuck in my head that it's better to actually write my journal down in a book, with an actual pen, with ink and and pointy tip and stuff, you know. As opposed to using all ten figures and endlessly tapping on the keys that are trapped within this approximately 10"x3" rectangular area.

I can't believe I am using dial-up at home, soooo old-school, but how can you say no to the only free option to connect to the world?!

(no subject)

It's Cinco De Mayo today.

Long time no update. I blame it on school. I guess I am just not as excited about what we are doing at school as the rest of the class and this adds a lot of pressure on me. I mean, if I had gone this far, I should be LOVING what I do, but instead, I often dream of a different life. Something that I had always imagined for my life, but I really don't see that I am getting any closer to that at all.

I guess I don't have time right now to think about this. Maybe when I go home, I can figure it out more with my parents' help.

Gotta survive this quarter and the fields. Have the priorities staight?

(no subject)

I haven been sitting at the Grad Commons for several hours. My plan of getting the Econometrics paper done hasn't gotten me anywhere.

I decided that it's time for a new beginning for life.

A mistake made in the summer has brought me this trouble, and a wrong decision has led me drain myself in this deep dark hole. I questioned my instincts for choosing friends, so I tried a different approach, but in the end I only proved that I was right before. A lesson is learned and my condidence needs to be re-gained. I think I need to get my life back and find the Lulu I once know.

I can't lie to myself anymore and keep telling myself that Josh was the kind of person I wanted to be with. It was a mistake from the beginning. He was never the man I was looking for in my life and the generic kindness was not what I needed. I still have a long life to live and a future awaiting for me to face. I proved that I still have the courage to love and be loved, but it simply happened at the wrong time and with the wrong person. Relationship is such a small part of life and how could I give the chance for it to let me down? Life is still as beautiful and I just have to open my eyes and see it for myself. I have made too many meaningless sacrifices and I refuse to waste any more time. Jesus was right, my future is only in my own hands and nobody could help me to change that, and depending on someone else only makes me a vunerable person that I've haven't seen before. I refuse to recall the hurtful things that he's done, and it's no use to do such a thing anyway. I know I am trying to avoid to remind myself how stupid I have been, but I do believe I've learned something from it.

I am going to quit smoking. It's the first step I am going to take to gain myself back. Smoking was never my thing and it should've never been. There's so much in life waiting for me to find and appreciate. I don't want to get lost in this world, especially that I hadn't gotten off track. My life path isn't as clear as I wish it was, but I know I am getting closer to it everyday.

I sincerely hope that it will be a true new beginning after this week. I can't wait til that day to come.

where is myself?

First post since the beginning of the quarter. Scary! I think I should blame it on Dell - it's their fault that I didn't have a good and functioning computer for the longest time ;)

I waited forever for things to *fall into place*, but it seems like it's taking waaay longer than it should've. Gee, it's such an experience. No wonder they say that we will be learning until we die. When I was a kid, I used to wonder, gee, what else is there to learn? The *big* people have learned for so many years! Now I know, when some little kid started calling me aunt, while the fact is, I am still a true child inside.

Since this is my emotional outlet, I cannot hide the fact that I just messed up really badly. I think I successfully pissed off at least two people all at once. What a life. What happened to drama-free life style? Or does it exist at all? I guess I will have to live with my mistakes. Why is the stupid school not over yet?

This quarter has been absolutely horrible, which is another story. I will have to save it for later, since I need to get some sleep for my 8 am class tomorrow.


This is not about the TV show, 24, though it was one of my favorite shows.

What I am talking about, is me, ME. So, pay attention... waaaa ))))

This year, I had a truly wonderful birthday, unexpectedly. I didn't think that having the 24th celebration of my birth was such a big deal, though it's the year of Monkey. I love monkeys, don't get me wrong, but someone once told me it wasn't supposed to be good luck, that's why our elderly encourage us to wear red, underwear, or belt, especially.

I have been living in this apartment by myself for a while now, ever since my housemate moved out in the middle of the month. I didn't feel particularly lonely or scared, but a strong sense of individualality, a sense of me being the center, which took me a while to get used to. All this, had lead to the thought that I was gonna have a mellow birthday: going downtown have a few drinks, celebrate for myself, noodles, of course. That was it. Great things happened totally out of my expectations.

To start up with, I decided to go out on Saturday and drink the midnight birthday shot to start the celebration, because I was so very considerate of my friends who will have to live a normal life and go to work on Monday - getting drunk on Saturday will give them some time to recover from whatever.

- Becky's package first got me in the mood to celebrate my birthday. She sent me an entire set of Dinosaur BBQ seasoning, five of them, total! I was so happy and I laughed so much my cheeks sored from exercising them muscles.

- Pre-party started off with Deva and I making sushi. I became to enjoy the Sunday dinners. She doesn't say a whole lot, but she's a pleasent company to be around with. Sushi making went very well, after tapioca pudding dessert, we chatted and had a very relaxing time. Before I left, she gave me a gift package wrapped with thin, red paper. I knew they were books, but I decided that I wouldn't open them until it was actually my birthday. I found out there were two inside later, one is 1984, the other one is Fahrenheit 451. I think I would enjoy them both very much.

- Getting ready at around 9pm ish, after I talked to my parents and Sean Johnson. Because I know in China time, my birthday had already started and half way through, and my parents would sure want to say H.B. to me. I also got pissed off at S.J. because of what happened the night before, so I had to get it out of my system. Finally, I picked out a red tube top like shirt to go with my navy blue pants, showered, make-up put on, etc., and I was ready to go. Met Martina and Teresa on the bus to head downtown. I was in such a good mood since I first saw them. We then met quite a few people at the Catalyst later that night: Peter Towbin, Korry, Steve, Peter&Laura, and Anish & Sara even came out! Everybody wished me Happy Birthday and I was feeling totally LOVED... My company bought me so much to drink, that about 1 1/2 hours later, I was in no condition to be considered coherent. Though I wish I was sober, 'cause I won't miss out on the girls taking their pants off on the street, or some guy got beaten up and left a large amount of blood under his unconscious body.

- Sunday was my actual birthday, but I spent most of it in bed til around 6pm, from recovering my over consumption of alcohol. During the course of the day, I received numerous b-day wishes. Shan Shan IMed me on MSN; Song Le emailed me with a nice complement on my newly posted pictures; Becky called; Chuck called; Ben IMed; Raeesa emailed; Juna emailed; Ann (from Ithaca) left me a really sweet IM message too!

It wasn't over yet, a birthday celebration continued. I was finally ok enough to get out of the bed to go to the new noodle restaurant, Xin, to eat my birthday noodles. I got a big order of Sichuan spicy beef noodles with shrimp and an Thai ice tea. It was just perfect. I stuffed myself so much that I decided to walk from Xin to downtown. It took me over an hour to get to downtown, but on the way, I was able to enjoy the beautiful view of the ocean during sun set and watched some surfers by the light house. Just what I would like to do for my birthday. 9pm came, I eventually made it to Boarder's to meet up with Sean Johnson. He was so sweet and got me pretty flowers!!! I don't even remember when was last time I got flowers, bleh. We took a long, aimless walk and ended up at the boardwalk, which was the last thing I wanted to do for my birthday - to be at the boardwalk at some point in time. That made my dream come true, and we had such a great time on the beach. We chased the water, chased each other, laughed, and enjoyed the sound of the ocean and the stars in the sky. I'd say that marked a good ending note on my wonderful celebration.

Yet, it wasn't over. Today is the day to have the prime rib at Zelda's, for free. I really thought I was gonna do this by myself, but then I wouldn't want to not share this wonderful information with Peter, whose birday is a few days away. So I did. It turned out that a bunch of people went! Diana, Jay, Jamaica, Martina, Teresa, Charlie, Lyn, and Anish all came out (well, of course, with me and Peter). We had a great dinner meal and I was just soaked in joy. I took home the left over prime rib, and some ballons... very fun. My house feels like a party house now. I talked to the guys and made plans for Thursday to go surfing - can't wait... though I know I will for sure embarrass myself at first. I will try out Charlie's board, and make a decision on whether I want to buy it from him or not. Very exciting.

Now I am home at last. Since I finished all the grading work last night, I don't have much to do for tomorrow. I didn't know what to do with myself!! heh, just kidding. I cleaned the house somewhat and just relaxing.

I am so excited and anxious about tomorrow. I hope it happens, finally, for real. *fingers crossed*. Wish me luck.

I truly had one of the best birthdays (out 24) in my life! ...

Happy happy joy joy.

About Lulu

On Dictionary.com, *Lulu* is defined as:

Lulu: [n.] (slang) a remarkable person, object, or idea.

it is also defined as: [n.] a very attractive or seductive looking woman

There's a town named after me (my ideal retirement location):
Lulu, FL
Zip code(s): 32061

The acronym of LULU is: Locally Unwanted/Undesirable Land Use :-D (is that right?)

Also, based on google image search, I drew the conclusion that there are more animals named Lulu and had their pictures taken than human.

The two Lulu characters that I like the best are: the cartoon Little Lulu, because she's super cute; and that sexy Lulu from Final Fantacy.